"PIRATES . . . could happen to anyone . . ."

"Now and then we had a hope
that if we lived and were good,
God would permit us to be . . .
PIRATES!"
:Mark Twain:

Aye! We had ourselves a Pirate party! Hosted by the lovely hostess of the good ship Dutchman Flats, Babby Barbossa! With treasure hunts and wild juices from the faraway paradises not yet discovered! ;) A celebration it was! And a grand one!

Thar she be! The fairest maiden on the seas!
And a wonderful party she gave us, she did! Fit for a captain!

Doug Slasher!

I'd steer clear of him, if I be you! He knows Ninja!

Arr! The finest pistol shot alive! Eva Blood, she be!

And that scoundrel pirate, Black Tooth Bart!

Mad James Blade!

Came up with the pipe himself, he did!

Hook-Hand Tad.

I understand he got a little too careless with his knife, there.

Mary Flint.

She plays the penny whistle on board.

Wouldn't want to mess with them three!

Somebody might get hurt!

Antonia Scabb.

The best galley cook ye've ever laid eyes on!

Now, I don't think you be partial to me caterwaulin' about the high flutin' decoration any more,

but let me just say, "Sink me! They were AMAZIN'!"

A treasure all to itself it was! Glorious!

And might I add--Mouthwateringly tempting!

Pretty as a picture!

Well--blast me 'art out! That's what it is, isn't it?

*uproarously savage pirate laughter*

A pirate place at the table. Hmm. Looks like this be Hook-Hand Tad's . . .

*scratches chin* Quick! Swipe that candy bag and replace it with one full o'rocks! Harha!

Let the festivities begin, me buckos!

First off, a pirate version of "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"--

"Find the Bloomin' Treasure Blindfolded And Stick a Flag On It"

Then o'course they had to stop us right after Treasure Huntin'

to take one them silly photographs.

Somethin' for the historians to remember us by.

There isn't much to say about the cottage cheese salads

with your own swords sticking out of it, except, "It be to DIE for!"

Ahh! Fit for a captain, I tell ye! Tasty morsels!

And ye remember those wild juices from the Undiscovered Islands?

*smacks lips*

*sniffs* That Babby Barbossa! *wipes tear away*

She has such a tender 'art, she has! *cries*

Gave us our own little bag of treats to take home with us!

*bawls into her scarf* It was so kind! So kind!

She's so sweet! Sweet as a pomegranate!

We all sat around reading the corny little jokes off the Laffy Taffy

and bawling our eyes out laughing 'cause they were so bad!

Ahh! And the fruit! So exotic!

Never would have thought to hook up these two . . .

I had it from Babby 'erself that it be deeply serious.

*shrugs* Oh, well! Hope they make it!

Ah, that be The End.

Farewell, me mateys!

May your ship never sink,

Wild fruits be your drink.

May your heart be blessed,

Your home possessed

With treasures galore and fancy!

And may all your addled shipmates be tossed to Davy Jones' locker!

But remember . . .

"Where there is a sea there are . . . PIRATES!"

Bwahahahahar!